Rediscovering his confidence: Roger’s story
Alabaré offer a range of services to veterans who have struggling in their civilian lives and have faced homelessness.
Following a traumatic marriage breakdown and a suicide attempt, Roger found himself sectioned under mental health services for several months before being referred to Alabaré.
Despite initial instability, his path gradually aligned with meaningful support, Roger is rediscovering his confidence with a transformative experience on the Veterans’ Self-Build Scheme.
Early Struggles
After leaving hospital, Roger returned to the area to be near his children. Despite learning a lot from the mental health team and receiving a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder (in addition to PTSD), he described himself as “still not in a good place.” He cycled through multiple housing placements, which included our home for homeless adults in Salisbury; however, it wasn’t until his move to London Road, specifically to the veteran-specific accommodation, that his trajectory began to change.
“They tried to help at Barnabas, but they just couldn’t deal with my complex personality. The difference at London Road is the understanding that veterans are different. We’ve done stuff.”
At London Road, he finally found people who “get it.” Two staff members were veterans themselves, instantly bridging trust and communication, which helped him feel seen and validated.
Having heard about the Veterans’ Self-Build Scheme after completing therapy, he connected with Frank. Frank is described implicitly as a mentor and paternal figure.
“Frank will even say, and the boys that I’m working with, when they first met me, I was like a quivering wreck. I wouldn’t say boo to a goose or anything like that. I had my eyes down and would talk very quietly. If I did talk, I had no self-confidence, no belief, no nothing. It was just a shell. Whereas now they can’t stand me because I just make jokes.”
Renewed confidence
The self-build experience radically shifted his mental and emotional wellbeing. From being a “shell” of a person, quiet, lacking confidence, and riddled with anxiety, to someone full of drive, humour, and plans. “I’m back to how I used to be when I first joined up. That cheeky chappy. I’ve got confidence, I’ve got drive. I want to do stuff again. I’ve got hope for the future. For the first time in a long time.”
For Roger, the shift was deeply tied to a renewed sense of purpose, teamwork, and identity. Being back among “blokes” who understood each other through shared veteran experience and banter helped unlock resilience and hope.
“I’ve gained confidence and self-belief because I genuinely had none. I was too nervous to walk into shops, meet new people, or go to unfamiliar places. I would feel so clammy, and I’d start shaking and stuff like that. Whereas now I just don’t care.”
Although he had no previous construction experience, he has taken to the work, particularly scaffolding, with enthusiasm, relating it to his artillery days. He’s completed training, enrolled in more courses, and is eager to see the world again, including visiting old army friends and going back to Canada and Germany.
As his confidence has grown, so has his personal life. He’s now reconnecting with his children and looking forward to becoming the father they remember.
“I just want to start living again. Yeah, I was at rock bottom compared to where I am now. Yeah. It’s a complete 180.”
When asked for a message to others considering the programme:
“Try and get onto veteran self-build. It’s a life-changer and a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.”
To learn more about our veteran services please follow the links and get in touch.
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